It Always Amazes Me.....

First let me say that this whole blogging thing is difficult for me.  For someone who usually has so much to say, no laughing peanut gallery, I struggle to gather my thoughts to write.  I have so much constantly running through my head that I am afraid it all won't make any sense.  But oh well, it's our family blog so I am entitled to write whatever I want so...  here it goes.

I was reminded tonight, as I have been many times recently, of the verses in Psalms 139 regarding God's great sovereignty over each created being.


Psalms 139:13-16
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.


My amazement comes from the thoughts surrounding being knitted together in the mother's womb.  I have always looked at these verses as how wonderful it is to think that God, a great, powerful, all-knowing, supreme being, knew me before I was knitted in my mother's womb.


 But recently I have been thinking about how that God knew not only me but also my children.  Not only did he know my children, but he knew that at least for my first 3 children, none of them would be knitted in my womb.  They would be knitted together and wonderfully made to be joined with me in a different manor than the average traditional thought of motherhood or family.  God did not choose for me to bear these children from my womb, not Morgan, not my future children.  Now that is a lot to swallow, especially for me.  I have desired more than anything to have children.  So very much so that I have neglected at times even to recognize the blessing that God has given me through Morgan.  I was so wrapped up in desiring to control my situation and "make children" on my own.  But as it usually is, God has other plans for me.  (Mine are usually never the same as His.) 
So....  God has or is knitting together possibly right this very minute a child or the children that He has set apart for Michael and I.  I never thought I would hear myself say this but that is just the most amazing thought.  Children that we did not conceive are set apart for us.  That gives me butterflies in my stomach.  I am filled with great anticipation wrapped all up in anxiety as I await His plan to be played out. 
~z